7 Signs You’re Headed for a Breakup

Couples
counseling has
helped many relationships from the brink. And
even if you and your partner decide to split,
couples counseling can help you have a
"healthier" breakup.
As with any relationship, there are exceptions.
If there is any type of abuse in your relationship,
seek help immediately.
Here are 7 signs your relationship is in serious
trouble:
1. You and your partner are spending more and
more time apart. Having separate interests is a
good thing. Using
separate interests as an excuse to get away
from your partner is not a good thing. When
your relationship is falling apart, you look for
reasons not to go home. You drive home filled with
dread. That is not a healthy way to live.
2. Your beliefs have become vastly different. People
change. Sometimes they change to the
point where one person's ideology is completely
opposite of his or her partner's beliefs or ideals.
Differences in interests, such as hobbies or types of
movies you like to watch, aren't that big of a deal
when you have common beliefs and
understandings. However, people can change to
the point where one partner has a new belief
system that is even deplorable to the
other partner.
3. You feel more relaxed and "yourself" when you
are not around your partner. You feel like you can
"exhale" when your partner's not around. You can
be yourself. You can even eat spaghetti with sauce
over your white carpet without your partner
freaking out. This is different than the sense of
relaxation you get when you have the house to
yourself. You can still enjoy that solitude and
miss your partner. However, when you are
constantly saying to yourself, "Thank God he'll/
she'll be gone for the rest of the day", that's a
problem.
4. You and your partner have stopped talking,
except for mundane things, like "Pass the
butter". Relationships are about communication.
When you are just communicating niceties, things
need to change. Quickly. A cold relationship is a
tough thing to face every day. You want a partner
that wants to get to know you, and vice versa.
5. You rarely or never have s*x anymore. Physical
intimacy is just as important as
emotional intimacy. There are various physical
reasons why couples may not be having s*x – a
woman may have just given birth, or a man may
have had prostate surgery. But healthy couples
still find ways to touch and caress. When there is a
lack of any type of
physical contact, it's a serious issue.
6. You used to have "discussions". Now they are
full-on arguments. No one hears what you are
saying when you are yelling. And after a while, it
doesn't even have an impact on the other person –
they just tune it out. Notice if you
are constantly arguing over "dealbreaker" issues
such as whether to have kids or how you should
manage your debt. If you can't agree to disagree,
it's time to reevaluate your relationship.
7. You and your partner have open contempt
for each other. This isn't just a feeling of "You are
annoying me right
now". Contempt is outright hate. Thinking about
having s*x with your partner makes your skin
crawl. You even hate the way they eat toast. When
you and your partner are talking to each other,
your body language consists of folded arms and an
aggressive stance. You may get to the point where
you have no problem showing your contempt for
your partner in front of other people.
If you are experiencing these difficulties in
your relationship, seek the help of a counselor. If
you feel things are beyond repair, counseling can
help you with your feelings of loss and grief.